Singing along with my mom

Inkjet printing on archival paper. 12”x 18”.

'Singing along with my mom' is a deeply personal project. My mother passed away few months ago and I'm yet to come to terms with the loss. This project is my way of remembering her and finding closure.

My mother had learnt singing in her youth and had the habit of writing down the songs and their raga notations in Kannada language in her diaries. At home she would sing every day, and as a child, I would sing with her; this was her introspection time, perhaps it was also her tool to bear the grunt of household chores. Some of the songs were bhava geete (lyrical songs) and many were devotional songs.

Though some of the bhava geete revealed her sense of joy in simple things, her devotional songs spoke of her fear of the unknown, as well as her pain, anguish, desperation, and above all, her belief in a supreme being. They also spoke of her ennui of the routine of everyday and hoped for deliverance. Every day she would light a lamp at the altar to God and sing.

I have photographed her song books and used them as a base to build the imagery. In some books, the content of the song is related to the imagery and in others it is not. Being an atheist I had a complex/troubled relationship with her beliefs, but it has not come in the way of my loving and empathizing with her. It is a tribute to my mother’s tenacity against all the odds that life threw at her. As I was doing these works, I realized that if you remove the 'religion' aspect, all the fears, turbulence and hope are within me as well, and I'm singing along with her.

These works were done during my residency time in Belforte del Chienti artist commune, Terra dellÁrte, in Italy which offered me ample time to be with myself in peaceful, natural surroundings and the necessary solitude to do this work.